Monday, December 28, 2009

Happy Almost 2010!


My California trip has taken me north of Los Angeles. Currently, I am bunkered down at my mother's home in Santa Barbara, where I have been partaking in the sun and the sand and cooking with lots of vegetables (TJs was selling stalks of brussel sprouts, STALKS!).
This is a picture from the front porch where I can drink coffee in my PJs in the morning.  Which is why I am so against living in Harrisburg, I mean look at the picture, and that is in December, after Christmas! Imagine what it'll look like in July, except for the whole June gloom stuff...
Sadly, this was one of the last of a set of pictures taken by my camera. Today, at 16:00, my camera swam with the fishes, literally.  The great blue pacific, with its unseasonably warm water (seriously, like, it's in the 50s) snuck up on me and my camera, and decided to spare only one of us.  It was my fault.  I know never to turn my back to the ocean, especially when it's crappy like today, but I was looking for starfish, so my attention was turned towards the tide pools.
On a happier note, I have consumed In-N-Out, so that should quash my craving until at least next December, right?  Oh, east coast people who have not traveled to the west and discovered what a hamburger is, indeed, all about, let me drop some knowledge:
In-N-Out can be spotted in 2 fail proof methods-


The crossed palm trees, OR

The sign.
Either way, when you approach the parking lot, the lack of parking and the line of cars tell you you have arrived.  Once there, you will notice the menu is limited to only the basic things you need at a hamburger place.   

There is no chicken on this menu (or on the secret one).












And finally, the food.  What we have here is a cheeseburger, protein style, no onion, extra tomatoes, and a number 3 (hamburger), animal style, with a pink lemonade and a packet of spread for fries dippage.



And now, with the approaching new year, I shall be heading even further north, into the area known as Northern California.  This time, though, I will be without both the parents (praise someone), and I will be flying.  I would like to take a moment to thank the underwear bomber for the exciting new airport rules, really, cause standing in the security line at LAX was just too darn short of a wait last time I was there (about an hour, give or take an hour).  So, safe journeys to all over this busy travel fiasco of a holiday, and may all your resolutions be kept for at least the month of January!

Monday, December 21, 2009

Not to brag, but I'm in SoCal and you are buried under a foot of snow!

Just a quick post before I head a little bit north to Santa Barbara and then San Francisco...

First, I want to thank the Harrisburg Airport for letting my plane be the only one to take off.  Thank you!

Second, I would like to thank United and O'Hare.  United and O'Hare, I am so glad that I was given the opportunity to both get in my workout in and see the entire O'Hare airport by putting the gates I get off at and I pick up my connection at on opposite ends of your airport.  Also, the hour we spent in the "penalty box" on the runway causing me to have to sprint the entire airport to get to the gate seconds before they closed the door, brilliant!  United, I want to thank you for my flightmates, the UCLA mens basketball team; I have never felt shorter.  And UCLA, I mean they are my FAVORITE!! To sit on a plane with them for 5 hours, that was the top of my Chrismukkah list this year.  Also, thanks for the 3am phone call that my luggage made it to LAX and would be delivered around noon the next day, I was waiting up with baited breath for that one...

Thirdly, I want to thank California.  It is December.  I packed for December (that's not December, East Coast, mind you). This is what I was welcomed with last night at 5pm:

I did not pack for this weather, namely, I misguidedly assumed that shorts were not something I needed to bring with me this trip.  My bad, SoCal, I forgot about the whole global warming changing the entire year to short weather thing.  Also, I realize I have been away so long my blood has begun to thicken, so I don't need a parka at 70F anymore.

But, on a more positive note, I have Coffee Bean!

More precisely, I am on my third Coffee Bean Dream Tea Soy Latte, which smells like Christmas potpourri and tastes kinda like a Snickerdoodle.  This one here I have named Marvin after my driver cover that is a Marvin the Martian head (they didn't make K-9 ones :( ) who was bopping along next to me on my little golf outing this morning; which is to say, I am in a lot of pain at the moment (and the new owner of an awesome blood blister) and driving for an hour or so must wait, hence the blogging.




[Also the car I am driving does not have running boards and, due to my vertical impairment, the flying leap I must take to enter the vehicle is so not happening!]

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Where I am so ready for finals to be over, like, totally!

I have had very little motivation to do anything to prepare for finals this semester.  I am suffering from an extreme case of 3L-itis.  As finals are coming to a close, with one exam and a paper to turn in left, my brain has moved on to thinking about all the things I will be doing at this time next week back in California, far from the monotony that is life in the library in Harrisburg.

So as an ode to where my brain is I provide you with a theme song for my procrastination:

Sunday, December 13, 2009

Just a reminder to my family and non-law school friends-

I am graduating from law school in May 2010 (that's in 6-ish months). Gifts are expected; cash, check, and credit (hey, i'm not above setting up a paypal) are accepted. If you are unsure about what I, the shortKort of Law, would need (or want) for law school graduation and find cash impersonal or a lazy man's choice, I am here to provide you with some suitable options, in which, you may see a theme:

A Nintendo Wii- I do not have one; I should have one; feel free to include a Wii Fit or a Rock Band/Guitar Hero set-up.

A Nintendo DS- not the DSi, that one doesn't play my GBA games or allow me to use the Guitar Hero game. Also, who needs 2 cameras and a faster browser that doesn't even support sound or video.

The Google Phone- that's right, not the iPhone, people. Go look outside, i'll wait, you can go check if pigs are flying or hell is freezing over. I have been yearning for an iPhone, but between going back to school and switching to Verizon, the iPhone has been out of reach, something to admire from afar. And with these new "map wars" and the rumor that AT&T may raise the already oppressive data plan pricing for iPhones, it does not seem as pretty or shiny anymore. Hence, the want, nay need, of the Google Phone. Over the past few weeks, things have been showing up about the phone on these here interwebs. First there were the unsubstantiated rumors, then the pictures, and then yesterday all hell broke loose in the Twitterverse with people claiming that Google was handing out phones to employees. And then I woke up this morning and saw something I never thought I'd see, The Wall Street Journal reporting about the Google phone being sold early next year. So I want an awesome phone and I need awesome coverage, therefore Google Phone+Verizon=happiness.

Apple iTouch- this is to replace my need to own Apple's iPhone. Although the iPhone may not be the awesomest phone out there, the things it can do make me want the non-phone version, especially if they actually do put a camera on it.

As you may have noticed, 3 years of law school in central PA has turned me into somewhat of a gadget whore, which, I've discovered, is actually far more costly than being a label whore. But, as always, if gadgets with computer chips scare you or you are concerned I am trying to build a man-destroying cyborg in my living room, my old, label-loving self is still in there, waiting, to become strong enough again to fight the gadget-freak into submission like a ninja with a Prada clutch.


Thursday, November 05, 2009

Lies, I tell you!

When you were little did a grown up tell you when you grow up you can be whatever you want to be*?
Yea...that was a lie...Sorry! Fate, Karma, the alignment of the stars, pine cones, whatever, all get in the way and you become just who you are, not always who you wanted (or want) to be

There comes a point where all you can do is laugh-hysterically, uncontrollably, until you begin to weep or can't breathe and snot begins to run down your face...

*Also, "you have so much potential" is code for Life=Fail

Sunday, October 04, 2009

What will the future bring?

This seems to be the big question, as this part of my life (law school) is coming to a close...

I wished it would end, but now that it is almost here, I realize how this has been a safe place. I left the real adult working world and ventured back into the hallowed halls (or in this case, converted office looking building) of education. It was harder than my old real job, and the "job" security of it being there could be hit or miss around spring finals for me, but it was good now matter how much I hated (and still hate) it.

Mostly, I am at a crossroads of epic proportions. The economy for a law school grad is not fabulous, especially one from a Tier 4 school who was not at the top of the class. Plus, I don't know where I want to go from here. When I left my old job in Reno my trajectory was anywhere but Reno, similar to when I left for a college anywhere but in LA, and when I graduated from college to land anywhere but Rohnert Park. In this economy, it is nice to know I could always move back in with one of my parents, even if that means sleeping on a couch. But with my 10 year HS reunion coming up I refuse to be the girl who had so much potential at HS graduation and went all the way from promising accounting career to law school to living at home. And then we have the college friends who want nothing more than me to move to the city (SF). This option sounds fab in theory, my sis lives there, and 95% of my friends live there, but I feel that moving back to CA would not be moving forward. I may have moved out of CA after college graduation, but didn't leave it until I came to law school.

It was the leaving that makes it so hard to go back. I don't know how to go back. When I have gone to visit, holidays and what not, and met up with my friends I realize that they moved on and I watched from the outside via facebook and phone calls about the goings on in their lives that I was informed of, but never really a part of. I missed countless weddings, kids being born, major break ups and people getting engaged. I missed the thing that makes friends worth having, being there, through the good and the bad, for the messy lows and the amazing highs. I know they understand that I wasn't there in person, but in spirit, and I missed sending a card because I was probably stuck in the library unsure if it was a Wednesday or Saturday, but I also know as friendships grow and mature, there is that pivotal point where you turn into the friend that visits on weekend that you see a few times a year or the friend that you call whenever something, anything happens...more and more, I am transitioning from the latter to becoming the former. I have to wonder, will it be to late, have I officially turned into that person everyone knows but no one ever sees; Can I go back?

I also spend a lot of time wondering if I should go back...you don't leave CA without a good reason. I love California; I love the beaches, I love the mountains, I love the endless deserts between the beach and mountains. I even kinda like Fresno and Bakersfield(as places to stop when going to Yosemite or Tahoe). As much as I need to stick my feet in the freezing Pacific every so often and commune with the giant Sequoias, there is a little nagging part of me that knows that I may not belong there, at least not full time.

So along with finding a job and taking the bar in a yet to be determined state, I will spend the next year, my last year in law school, trying to figure out why I left California in the first place, and where I belong, or at least a few more places where I don't.

Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Night at the Museum: Best Product Placement Ever?

Rating: 3.5 Gilberts Law Outlines out of 5

I wasn't going to see this movie. Until about a month ago, I hadn't seen the first one either. And then, a series of event unfolded that made it abundantly clear that I should at least see this movie at a matinee ($4 makes even possibly sucky movies worth seeing on the big screen).

First, I ended up in D.C. the weekend that this premiered at the Air and Space museum. I was enjoying margaritas and fajitas at the time of the premiere, but I was around. Second, I saw this Shack Talk episode:

If you haven't seen any of these, well, I am sorry you live such a humorless life. Thirdmost, they have been playing Night At the Museum Numero Uno on FX day in and day out.

And finally, I discovered I can go to the movies for $4 on Sunday morning!!!

So this past Sunday I hunkered down in my seat with my Sour Patch Watermelon gummies and a Coke Zero to watch what may have been the best advertising aimed at children ever. Not only does this movie take place at the Natural History Museum this time, it moves to DC where the Mall and most of the 19 museums of the Smithsonian make an appearance. (Sidenote-there is a scene outside the White House…)

This is a movie that I expect most people will enjoy, but most will enjoy more if they have seen the first. It picks up a few years after the last one ended with Larry (Ben Stiller) owning his own emerging invention empire that he hawks through infomercials (RIP Billy Mays) with help from George Foreman. He still visits the museum he used to protect every night, but those visits are becoming less frequent and interrupted by his crackberry. He shows up one night to find the displays being boxed up to be replaced with interactive holograms, Will.i.am on CNN style. As per plan, monkey business ensues and the tablet that makes them alive at night travels with them to DC to be stored in the National Archives in the maze under the Smithsonian. Hank Azaria, playing Kahmunrah, Ahkmenrah's older and far eviler brother, is claiming the tablet in order to open his gate to the underworld and take over the world. The NYC crew, while holding them back, gets Larry on the horn and he heads down to help. As can be assumed, chaos ensues and Larry teams up with Amelia Earhart (Amy Adams), DC museum displays, including a trio of cupids played by the Jo Bros and the rest of the NYC team, and as is the result of most movies, there is a very happy ending that makes you say awwwwwww.

I see this movie spurring a rush by the museums of America cashing in on the movies theme. I have seen it already seen it at the Smithsonian itself; there is some sort of map to find Night at the Museum spots. I do see them needing to employ extra security, though, to prevent people from trying to climb on the displays and access the basement levels.

We can only assume that this movie will become a series. But that is OK with me. I enjoy ensemble casts in movies, especially by ensembles that work together on project after project made up by talented individuals that only get better when grouped. They tend to make the best films with no focus on just one character's evolving plot, but how these characters interplay with each other. Further, this may have been a kid's movie, but in the grand tradition of goods kid's movies, there is plenty of adult humor laced in.

In the end, if you were to ask me if you should see this move I would answer, "It depends." If you have seen the first one and are not planning on spending more than $7 for a ticket, I'd say sure. Otherwise, wait until FX starts playing it on loop before the third one comes out.

Monday, June 29, 2009

Sunday is my Fun Day

I have recently discovered my newest recession obsession, AMC theatres. Apparently if you show up for a movie starting before noon on the weekend, it's only $4. This means that if I sneak in the candy or soda, or both, I can still get a full movie experience (soda, popcorn, candy, and movie) for less than the price of a regular ticket!

You may be saying to yourself, who in their right mind goes to the movies before noon when they could be sleeping?! Well, when I have gone, there have been a number of people. I, too, expected the theatre to be empty and not to have to worry about turning off my cell phone or live twittering my thoughts about this particular feature. [Which is wrong, don't do this, ever ;-)] Surprisingly, there are quite a few people that go to these movies, and not only who you might expect (me, I expect creepers and/or old people); there are families and teenage posses as well as the requisite creepers and old people.

Even if an odd hour for movies, I find this works into my summer schedule quite well. I can spend my Sunday morning drinking my weekly Starbucks (Tall Drip, cold soy) and reading the paper (i.e., coupons/crossword puzzle), which I can feel good about because I purchase it with my (RED) Starbucks card (I'm a giver), then walk right into the theatre and get the seat of my choice, and still make it to the library on time to work the afternoon shift in the Computer Lab until I go for a run on my way home.

Sunday, June 07, 2009

Run, run, run, as fast as you can...

I have recently begun running.  Why, you may ask?  Not to train for a race, no, its because I want all the crap that comes with it!
Running should not be such a foreign concept to me.  My sister ran a marathon for goodness sakes.  I've tried beginning to run before, hell I played soccer for many, many years.  But even during my soccer playing glory years, I refused to run outside of practice (which may have been more out of the fact I was utterly exhausted in HS).  This is the longest I've stuck with it at all outside of practice for organized sports.
But what, you may ask, is different about this time?
#1, It's summer, I can run during the day and get a tan while burning a few calories.  If I am going to exercise, I might as well multi-task.
#2 There is so much cool running paraphinelia out there!  I have that iPod nike thing, but still need to attach it to my shoe (must go to mall while in LA).  There are clothes with media pockets and cord control features.  And the gadgets, oh, the gadgetry available...
I do have one gripe...how do I stay motivated while running?  I mean, the only part I enjoy is at the end where I sprint the last bit, while the rest of my running trods along at a slow jog that I can walk faster than.  I love the feeling of running fast.  Sadly, I cannot do the entire run at this speed if I do not want my heart to explode or the constant ability to bark like a seal.  So a majority of my run is monotonous, boring, and feels like it will never end.  Maybe I need a new outfit?

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Watching TV vs. Watching the Internets

As a law student, I am in class/library/buying red bull/unconscious when most of the rest of the country's population recreations. So it being summer, my time is slightly more my own (just slightly) and I plan on using some of it to catch up on things I missed during the last 9 months, namely, sleep and TV watching.
Reading the entertainment blogs, it has stricken me that I missed a whole hell of a lot of TV this year. My plan was to fix this by watching it all on the internet when I was working in the lab (perk of the job, I know, such difficult work!). My plan has been foiled. For some reason, the networks have decided that they need only post the last 2 or 3 episodes that aired. So basically I can watch the season finale and the one before it...which is great, but I missed the first 20-22 episodes of the season.
I understand that this is a response to ad revenues and guild issues, etc., but in your negotiations, shouldn't the lawyers understand that law students can't really watch these shows when they air and further, the entire season might be put on hold until after finals/bar/papers. We are a very small segment of the viewership, but ironically, we are one of the most important viewing segments. Our potential income and penchant for conspicuous consumption puts us in a very desirable category to reach. And by losing our future viewership, because I will not be watching after I have missed an entire season, you are losing ad revenue and ratings.
I am not, however, over pirating these shows. I would rather not, as it is illegal, and it hurts not only you, but me.
I therefore have a proposal that will benefit us all:
Create a web database accessible only to law students, like Westlaw or LEXIS. Handout passwords at orientation. Pepper us with emails advertising everything. Include ads for expensive cars and top shelf liquor, like the ad time that used to get sold to air during West Wing. Include overdramatic law school movies and every Law and Order/CSI known to man.
Want to test a pilot that you think may be too high brow for the general viewing public, throw it up, if we like it, then it will probably fail!
Just remember, when we graduate we can work for you, with you, or against you...and no matter what, we are watching you, just maybe not how you want us too.

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Where we post mortum yesterday...

First, let me preface this with a comment: The phrase "equality for all" is redundant. You cannot have equality if it is not for all. Now if you said equality for all ducks, that would not be redundant. Please fix your signs (For example: Equality for all unmarried people -see catagories 1&3 below, or Equality for all Gays and Lesbians-catagories 2&3)

The CA Supreme Court upheld the validity of Prop. 8 in a 6-1 decision yesterday...first, boo hiss!!!

However, it was not the content, it was the process (amendment vs. revision) that was being decided on. Therefore, I take back the hiss. I am a student of the law and understand the courts will avoid answering the "Is it constitutional?" question at any cost.

Further, they split the proverbial baby and refused to invalidate the 18,000 marriages that had taken place between their original ruling that the legislature cannot prevent same sex marriage (or as I like to call it, marriage), and the day that will live in infamy, Nov. 2, 2008 (or as I like to call it, the day CA jumped the shark).

So, obviously, the justices have some sense that Prop 8 sucks, and further Props (looking at you 13) suck in general and by doing this they have pointed it out and we will hopefully fix this (and by this, I mean the ability to amend the CA constitution with a bunch of signatures, money coming from Utah and Limbaugh, and 50.1% of the vote) on the next ballot with another Prop.

Also, we now have 3 distinct classes of citizens in the golden state:
1-straight (or deeply closeted/succesful gay cure camp grads) people who can get opposite married as many times as they want [and this is #1 only b/c the list goes from who has the most rights to who has the least rights]
2-gay couples who got married when it was legal (and better not get divorced cause then they get demoted to category 3)
3-gays and lesbians who missed the window
This is awesome. We are now the only state to have 3 distinct classes of people!
(I smell some bound to fail EPC claim being cooked up as I type!)
Also, try drawing a venn diagram...cause its kind of looks like 3 should be treated as unmarried 1's, but then you get prop 8 and it pops it back out into no rights land...

And this sucks, I mean really sucks...Iowa is more progressive than CA?! Did I fall in a wormhole/black hole/parallel universe? I always thought I was rather moderate for a Californian, but now I know I am a flaming liberal...left of our secret muslim democrat socialist party president.
Rights have been lost, equality has been kicked in the balls, and the freaking Proposition system is still intact!

But I find comfort in history, because theoretically, we learn from our mistakes and don't make them again. So, now we know CA voters need to vote on these things and not just assume CA is liberal, this can't happen. There is organization going on, and media being promoted, and most importantly, money is being given to ensure there is a chance for equality in the future.
Also, before Brown, there was Plessy. And although the analogy is not the same, b/c the CA ct. already decided that marriage was for everyone and this current decision had nothing to do with whether marriage was a right of all Californians, I like to think it is similar enough to give us hope.

And if all else fails:
I am starting a petition to put a proposition on the next ballot that limits marriage to 2 individuals each making at least $100,000 a year (after taxes) at the time of obtaining a marriage license. (Individuals may not allocate income over $100,000 to the prospective spouse, sorry ladies who lunch)
Policy reasoning: Marriage is there to ensure a family unit exists. And if you have a family, you need to support your own progeny, b/c high taxes that fund social welfare are bad for the economy. And the average cost of living in CA is exponentially higher than in every other state in the union. And a minimum income of $200,000 for a family of 3 is needed for them to be adequate consumers to stimulate the economy.
Also, b/c according to the CA S.Ct., I can!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

My black thumb is now officially an olive-ish color

I feel this spring has been a success. I was able to grow plants from seeds to actual plants! Oddly, my ability to keep plants alive came years after the successful survival of my kitty.

Excitement first arose in February when the green suddenly appeared:



Over the past few month, the little guys kept growing and multiplying leading to this weekend's project (delayed 24 hours by the arrival of what I only assume was H1N1)...a re-potting adventure into a much larger pot and the introduction of stakes to reduce their overcrowding issues and floppiness.


Today, after messy, dirt under my fingernails work, we end up with this:




A pot filled with parsley and fennel? I know, you wish you could be this awesome!

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

2L Shortkort, it was a pleasure while it lasted!

Yesterday, I completed the last of the finals I will take as a 2L. We will see how this actually pans out, but right now I am hopeful. In reality, I had 5 exams and a paper this semester, over the span of he last 3 months, but the bulk was my last four exams in the past week, which I shall call the finals clusterfuck from hell. But, now I am done. DONE!!!
The clusterfuck of the last week was somewhat eloquently symetrical, and metaphorical in a cycle of the law student way...I shall explain.
My first final was Corporate Tax, it was not kind. However, this class was comprised of graduating 3Ls and me. They were more or less taking it as their last law school final ever. I started finals with a final that a majority of my fellow final takers were ending their law school careers with. And it was being proctored by the guy from admissions, slightly ironic.
The clusterfuck ended yestersay. I sat down to my property II final knowing that in 2 hours, for better or for worse, I would no longer be a 2L. Which is a comforting thought and a terrifying thought at the same time, but that is a whole seperate topic. Property II is a 1L class, so obviously, my being in there gives off the air of a fuck-up somewhere in my past law school career. But, still, it was my last final, I was terrified (due to the lack of proper study time, hanks Federal Income Tax+stupid 24 hour deferral rule that takes into account start times, not ending ones!) and excited, and then the proctor walked in, my Corporate tax professor. She looked confused, this was the property II final, she asked me. I answered yes, which was followed by a look I can only describe as confusion tinged with dissapointment and pity. After I ran out of the room, very dramatically as is my way, vowing to throw sharp objects, such as pencils, at her for the exam she gave us which in no way resembled the practice question, I returned, calmer and with a cookie. She proceeded to comment on how she disliked property and then insulted the 1Ls (she spoke aloud what I have been thinking all semester-which is why, no matter how much that tax exam sucked, I will not drop her class for the fall; also, I am pretty sure they didn't realize they were being insulted, even if they are the top 2/3 of their class, they are extremely dense).
In summary: I started finals with a final full of graduated 3Ls, being proctored by an admissions officer and ended it in a 1L final being proctored by a professor of 3L biz law/tax nerds.

I shall close with my reasoning on why I should recieve the A+ in corporate tax-
1) due to the conversation, i assume one of 3 things have already occured: (a) you graded our finals and gave me an A; (b) you graded our finals and gave all of us A's; or (c) you have yet to pick up and/or grade our finals...which is why you should keep reading->
2) I am the only one who can benefit from this grade! The rest of the class was cmprised of individuals who more or less have no need for GPAs anymore. They are graduating. Jobs/LLM programs have been procured. This grade shall have no effect on their futures. It will on mine! As you noticed during your proctoring of a 1L final, I obviously have a GPA deficient in good grades because I was taking a 1L's final.
3) I WANT to be a tax lawyer. I came to law school to do TAX law. No one does that! I should get extra points automatically...in both corporate and federal tax.
4) I managed to throw in some corporate tax knowledge on the Fed. Inc. Tax final. Which shows I retained it...I took it 6 days before, and still knew it, I took property yesterday and if I took it today, would not know a single answer for that exam!
So with those thoughts and the fact that I wrote my anonymous number rather large on my envelope in property, I look forward to recieving that A+ in corporate tax!

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Please explain to me how penguins can ruin America's children?

Penguins. Those cute little semi-aquatic birds that fly under water and are perpetually dressed to the nines. I have just been informed that they will corrupt the youth of America if we continue to allow children to read...

On my way to campus this morning, I was listening to WXPN for my fix of actual music. However, I ended up catching it during their talking break (damn my great sense of timing). Books, specifically library books was being discussed, so I kept my hands from endlessly switching stations as they are so apt to do in these situations because I, as well as many people who read this blog (well, at least the 2 people I know who might peruse it from time to time) enjoy a good book.

The discussion turned ugly. People complaining that The Kite Runner was not appropriate reading material. They have been complaining that the book is to graphically sexual and may harm children if they were to pick it up from a library. I, however, find this complaint somewhat ridiculous on so many levels, let me give you a few.
#1 This is NOT a children's book! Don't let them read it!
#2 IF you don't like it don't read it yourself, don't prevent me from making my own decision because I have a different standard of what an enjoyable read is.
#3 I am pretty sure this is the same group of people that try to get Harry Potter banned, so what are you doing in a library anyways, I am sure your "church" library is The Kite Runner and Harry Potter free.

More intriguing (disturbing, eye-opening, jaw dropping?) was that the most complained about book was a children's picture book, And Tango Makes Three. Brief synopsis for those unfamiliar: Two penguins, who happen to both be male, do the penguin thing and pair up as life partners in a zoo. They try to get an egg looking rock to hatch by taking care of it. The zoo keeper gives them a real egg (not a golden one, sorry Jack) and it hatches. And Tango makes 3! So it's a story about how this little family came to be. But this story comes with a twist...according to the complaints, and this little animal family story has received the most complaints to the ALA ever, the book is anti-family. Anti-family!

What does this phrase even mean? How can you be against family? It's like being against chocolate, or puppy dogs! Even the Menendez brothers weren't considered anti-family (they were, however, found guilty of murdering their parents, but they still had each other!) The only way this makes sense is if they are referring to being anti-family, as definition #8 from Webster's describes family as "a unit of a crime syndicate (as the Mafia) operating within a geographic area." (I would tend to agree that penguins are not members of some criminal underworld, although now that I think about it, maybe that's exactly what they are and the South Pole is their secret headquarters, and the tuxedo feathers are their way to ID friendly's....)

This is the problem with American English. You have a word with traditional meanings and that can also be defined to encompass a broader idea. Groups cannot just stick anti- or un- in front of a word that encompasses a value or aspect of "mainstream" culture that they want to protect. I get that they mean anti-traditional family, but if they were to say that, they would not make the same impact. But I feel that I will go with Webster's definition #5:
"the basic unit in society traditionally consisting of two parents rearing their children ; also : any of various social units differing from but regarded as equivalent to the traditional family." (And dear, dear anti-family people, please note that it lists 2 parents, not a female and male parent, who may or may not be married.)

So people reading my blog, come and help me support this traditional penguin family and let's get them married (the word marriage includes same sex marriage, bite me CA Supreme Court). Because I feel that may be the root of the problem for the complainers, they aren't married and had Tango out of wedlock.

Monday, April 06, 2009

I want Flutter Eyes :)

This is hilarious...I wonder how long til it actually happens...Go Nano Blogging!

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

This may just be too much->









Even my background as a left coaster, with all my crazy liberal leanings and blasé attitude regarding the treating of pets as children by putting the in strollers, i cannot wrap my head around why anyone would purchase this for their animal (although it does make him look precious)



Monday, March 16, 2009

Newsworthy? I will be the judge!

Lately, I have been reading my hometown paper online. This should not be a development of any sort, except for the fact that even while I lived there, I had never read this publication. I read the real papers, the ones they sold at Starbucks, the LA Times & NY Times. I started reading this paper for 2 reasons: (1) the school down the street from my parents house is closing and the school board is causing riots (in T.O., this is more of a spirited debate amongst moms dressed in J.Crew) to erupt in my neighborhood; and (2) daily weather to depress myself even further. Also, it throws my parents off when I talk about things going on that they don't even know yet, which is amusing.
Their reporting style is like the prompt you are given for a research project, the basic what and where, who sometimes, but even that can be questionable. You are forced to go digging for your own news which is why most of the area does not read this paper. But it being local, it does cover things that the big boys don't. Like this.
The supermarket down the street was robbed. Or, more precisely, there was an attempted robbery at the bank inside the store which was foiled by an unidentified off duty officer. This, in my opinion seems newsworthy. For one, Thousand Oaks is known for being one of the safest cities out there (except for that random meat cleaver hacking, I can't really recall ever hearing about actual violence occurring, although someone did break into my parents car last week, and by break in, I mean walk up to the door my parents left open, not unlocked, open, and take the owners manual). Also, the article talks of them casing the bank. If these numbnuts knew what they were doing, they would have just robbed the Starbucks in the store, not the bank. That bank does very little in day to day transactions; the Starbucks, however, is busier than the actual Starbucks next store to the market (yes, there is a Starbucks next to a Starbucks, across the parking lot from a Coffee Bean) with lines all day long, that is where the cash lies within easy access in the register, not in a locked safe. Further, there is the issue of this off duty officer from an unidentified agency. I have some reliable inside information from an individual who was buying dog treats at the time that this was an ICE officer. So obviously, this leads the reliable insider to call me and ask WTF ICE is doing in T.O. b/c of course my just finishing an immigration law class qualifies me to be an authority why ICE is in certain areas (which, in my opinion, it really does). I think this is the real meat of this reporters story and they are totally missing it. The T.O. police are totally covering for ICE! Also, why did he have his weapon on him. Thousand Oaks is not longer a Western/Korean War set. You do not need a firearm to go grocery shopping; this is not Florida. So ICE is conducting some covert operations, and no one is reporting on this. This makes me sad.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Proof my brain may be almost too full to function

I am of the opinion that reality tv is counter intuitive to tv itself. You watch TV to escape real life, not watch someone else actually live it on camera. However, the studio heads decided years ago (Jeff Probst, I blame you!) that reality TV would save TV as it didn't require writers, actors, sets, etc., etc., etc....it was cheaper, much cheaper to produce and has slowly been taking over a majority of network schedules.
I try to avoid most reality TV. However, a few shows have been met with my approval (most are on TLC or Bravo, but this just proves I can speak in somewhat coherent sentences and have above an 8th grade reading level) and very few of these require competition of any sort. I may watch the last few rounds of American Idol, but I refuse to watch the auditions, and Hollywood week, and whatever else they do until they get to the people that can actually sing. One of the few competition shows I will watch from the beginning is Dancing With the Stars (or DWTS to those in the know). I believe one of my sorority sisters got me hooked back when Drew Lachey won that Disco Ball they call a trophy with his sexy cowboy dance (Cheryl whatever may have contributed, but I believe that Drew should have won dancing with a broom).
This season, before the show even started, they lost 2 contestants and had to replace them with less than a week to go. These replacement were kept "secret", so everyone knew that it was the ex-girl next store (holly(?), polly(?), not Kendra, the normalish one) and the rejected bachelor girl. I don't watch the bachelor and I refuse to watch interviews surrounding the goings on on the Bachelor, but I do know that he "rejected" her, after he proposed on the last show, on the cast get together after show or whatever and decided to start dating the runner up blonde slut (she went on the Bachelor, no empirical evidence is necessary), so I am on rejected brunette's side. The rest of the DWTS cast is as colorful as ever, including Denise Richards and the "Woz". Originally, my support was going behind the gymnast girl (who looks eerily like the former Cheetah Girl who was on a few seasons ago, hair, spray tan, dancing partner...freaky) with some interest in how the "Woz" would deal with not being able to dance on his segway. After the show, though, I have to throw some support behind the reject. Her story is just sad, so sympathy points there, she actually wasn't half bad, she did better than people who had 4 weeks to prepare and she had like a weekend, and she was on the I Wanna Be A Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader show on CMT and she seemed like a decent human being compared to the crazy duo in charge of picking the cheerleaders.
So now I am stuck trying to divy up my 13 votes per email address between these 2. And I will keep watching and voting until they both get kicked off, at which point, I most likely will no longer care what happens (because the "Woz" will not out last these 2 and if they do not eliminate Denise Richards and Jackass guy soon, I may not watch at all and I will just vote & at that point it may be time for me to watch AI and I can only do so much reality in one week).

Now, I will go back to being a law student and review capital expenditures so when I stop paying attention in Tax tomorrow to read for my Corp. Tax class, I will know what is going on if I get called on :)

Tuesday, March 03, 2009

It may be below freezing, but I am currently struck with flashbacks of summer camp!

Did you go to summer camp? Live in the forest with no electricity, swim in a questionable lake, reville and taps...

Very specific things bring me back: a certain crispness in the air; smells of dirt and pine; waking up in that certain angle of sunlight streaming through the screen, pinecones...but on a more practical level, certain foods. We had a Shasta call (where i discovered my brief obsession with lipton brisk iced tea in a can), we had boxes of nesquik (white milk is lame) and kool-aid (for my nalgene, way before carrying a nalgene was cool) tucked away in our cabin cubbies, a box of our fav cereal to carry to flag raising and breakfast (b/c cheerios and shredded wheat shall be left for the new campers not in the know and the eggs were rubbery), the rice/soy milk you talked the kitchen into keeping for you (oh well, if the milk is chocolate, the lactose doesn't make me sick *wink*), dipping everythig in ranch, a Miller's shake or freeze and chicken fingers, Pizza Factory pizza/Pines pizza (depending on why you got pizza...were you an alumni (Pines), were you a Senior/CILT dressed as an idiot in Oakhurst (Pizza Factory)), and Choco Tacos.

Have you ever had a Choco Taco? If not, you have missed out on one of the great parts of childhood. It's a taco shell made from waffle cone filled with fudge striped vanilla ice cream with choclate and peanuts on top. We had a chant for choco taco days. It went CHOCO TACO, CHOCO TACO, etc. It went on until they gave us the choco tacos. Even the people who refused to eat at camp (whether it be the quality of camp food or the fact that many of us were from the capital of schizophrenic eating habits, LA) ate them. I had slightly forgotten about their existance until today (Sorry Choco Taco gods, I promise penance...see link). Reading the many varied blogs I do I stumbled upon a link on YumSugar....I have no clue what was being written about, but the word Choco Taco drew me to click the link. So I did, and I found this:

How to Make a Choco Taco from Scratch

If you find yourself with a craving for something cold and creamy and scrumptious and cannot find the authentic thing, I would definately try this because there is nothing that can transport you back to the ice cream covered summer day's of your childhood any faster...

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

I am an internet junkie...

I tried really hard for a long time, but I finally broke down and got in house internet service.
(By tried really hard, I mean searched aimlessly for unprotected sources; long time means for the last 6 months; and, in house means I now have internet where ever I decide to have my laptop, whether it be a coffee house, my apartment, the beach...)


I attempted to survive off the wireless at school and the random wireless I could pick up in my building, but my neighbors soon caught on to my game and the one reliable source I could count on moved out. The whole only at school thing worked for a while, but if I stayed home one day I would come to find 50 new emails the next morning all begging to be read. My reader still has not recovered, hovering at around 200 unread posts that I still haven't gotten to, but I am sure they will be worthy reads. I have had to read for my classes as pulling a brief off the internet was not as easy as it used to be and might have required me waking up earlier. My twitter suffered, as I was posting almost solely by text on my ancient RAZR (which will be replaced upon graduation using the remainder of my K to transfer to phone service for the spiffy new iPhone [or insert other awesome phone/media dohicky that is out and better than the iPhone] I will be getting). My blogging became nonexistant. Facebook? The status I posted still has something to do with studying for last semester's finals.


My life was slowly becoming less interesting. I have become addicted to TV shows and made time to watch them at the time they aired because I had no way to watch them online. I was reading books at night, before bed, instead of randomly surfing the internet looking at neat decorating/cooking tips. I was fiddling with my snazzy new dutch oven and making dishes of many varieties and colors. I ran out of tubberware for my leftovers. I was a version of me I have never experienced before. It was disturbing to say the least.


I grew up on the internet. As I got older, the internet got more useful (hello blogging), and efficienter (Googleing over AOL), and better (kinda like me!). I missed being connected 24/7, terribly. It was eating away at my soul.


But, I have returned triumphantly, reclaiming what was rightfully mine to mindlessly surf around. In the past few days I have twittered the Oscars, I have figured out why my plants have been commiting hari kari, and found a recipie to use up the case of Guiness I have on my pantry shelf. Life is worth living again. If you look outside you see clear, sunny skies. Plants are growing (at least on my window) and animals are singing (seriously, there is a cat howling outside). And to top it off, I got pics of my kitty! Oh glorious, magical internet, I promise never to be without you again.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tragic News

ABC Family is not bringing back The Middleman...they would rather have a show about whiny pregnant teenagers and surviving as a family living in the 'hood. Good riddance ABC Family. I bid you adieu as you no longer fill my needs as a viewer of your programming.

In the world of TV today i am left with few choices for quality scripted programming and this saddens me.



I shall have to live with the finale being in paperback form...

Monday, February 09, 2009

If similar interests are treated similarly, Harrisburg has not arrived...

"Still, an In-N-Out, Case said, would signal that Escondido has arrived, like when a city finally gets a Trader Joe's grocery store or, years ago, its first Starbucks."

-from here

further, this article goes on to point out that in-n-out is so important to society that it can make or break a political career for CA politicians...I wholly agree...if you are against In-N-Out (and I know vegetarians who are FOR in-n-out [mmm grilled cheese animal style] so that is NO excuse!) you are against America and should be a sent to Gitmo and water boarded with spread (mmmm spread....)

P.S. Harrisburg, this means you need a TJs, cause if you get a TJs then In-N-Out may consider jumping the Mississippi (and the Rockies, and the Plains, and well most of the country) and set up shop here so I can get my neopolitan shakes, 4x4's, and animal style fries (that's right, I order off the "secret" menu, and have never actually finished a 4x4, but I would like the chance to attempt it again) and not be stuck with the lousy replacement that 5 Guys tries to offer me as a hamburger place.

Rambling over...rumbly in my tumbly commencing...it really is what a hamburger is all about :)