Saturday, December 18, 2010

Gift Giving for the perpetual overreacher who is also a procrastinator.

This describes me this year, but add in broke due to underemployment.

To remedy the last part I had the grand idea of granting my dear friends with an introduction to pastry chefKort, the little known version of shortKort that existed prior to the aspirational, but short lived, docKort and the eventual shortKort of Law.  This persona is so unknown, even family members stand in awe, and a little too fearful, of foods that I prepare.  Not to brag, but at Thanksgiving this year my vegetable terrine and savory palmiers were an immense hit, after the initial sniff test to make sure I wasn't trying to poison them.

Further, as it is the holiday season I had settled on cookies to brighten everyone's season.  However, I live about an hour from the most local of these friends, and a 3 day drive from the furthest, so I realized that mailing the treats would be required.  Did you know that when you mail a package, it doesn't magically get there the next day?  Yea, apparently we need to work on our teleportation technology people!  Unfortunately, I did not count this time into my preparedness and was now behind...

So, instead of holiday presents (there was no way Hanukkah presents were going to make it out, as that ended like weeks ago...) people are getting treats (a cookies+ package, if you will) to wish them a Sweet and Salty New Year!  Brilliant!  It's totally like I planned it that way!  Problem #3,765 solved...

Now let's all hope that the rain (read humidity) doesn't screw w/ my candy making abilities...

Saturday, August 14, 2010

~the beginning of the end~

Fun Fact: Did you know that there is a LOST episode titled that? I bet you didn't! (Unless you watched LOST, because then you were probably anagramming that shit to figure out if it had deeper meaning...I didn't watch LOST, it interfered with other shows and it was too late for me to get into it when I finally had time, also, polar bears on an island, that shiznit is confusing...)

But, I digress...

I finished the CA bar exam.  Successfully? Who knows, probably not (why, how do you do February exam?), but I completed  it and lived to tell the tale, so that's a win for me!  The next step is to find employment so I can move out of my grandparents house and into somewhere that isn't there.

However, I am currently located back in Harrisburg, PA.  Why would you be back there, didn't you just escape from there and make it back to LA? you may be asking.  Yes, while it is true I made my escape back to LA immediately following the reception of my diploma, I did so without moving my stuff or bringing my car (Chandler was so sad to be left behind, he died a little.  No, seriously, his battery died and was unjumpable and he needed a new one...).  So here I am packing up my apartment, wondering how I have acquired so mush stuff in the last 3 years.

Luckily for you, oh all 3 loyal readers, as shortKort of Law as you know it is coming to an end (you all knew I would either drop out or graduate one day) I have decided to take you, on my journey/move/road trip across the country, with me.  Be sure to stay tuned for the glorious shenanigans (and possible bloodshed) that are bound to occur when you dump shortKort and Reggie in a car for over a week and follow them to interesting (and not so interesting) locations across the United States, including, but not limited to: Cedar Point Amusement Park, Chicago, Denver, Salt Lake City and its outlying areas, somewhere in Nebraska, the Grand Canyon, and Las Vegas.

Feel free to send suggestions for road trip playlists, things to do, souvenir requests, bets to place, etc...
The fun is scheduled to begin on August 29 and will last until some point after Labor Day (we'll see if one of us hits it big in Vegas), so stay tuned for updates/pics/calls for bail money from the road...

Monday, July 05, 2010

Bar Exam of Doom!

Disappearing for the rest of's not like you were expecting an update here anyways!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

I believe there may have been some sort of a mistake...

There was an actual law school diploma with my name on it in the holder they handed me at graduation!

This is exciting!  However, I have begun to ponder what I could have accomplish if I hadn't stopped trying/studying in high school...

Now off to California to study for the bar exam and to prepare to become the shortKort of the CA Bar.

Friday, February 05, 2010

Observation: Tax Professors are not normal

Looking back on my years of education, I am realizing that while most people who became a professor in whatever capacity are a little socially awkward, but then you meet the tax department and you begin to think all those other eggheads are social dynamos.  Granted this should be a given, as they went into tax, the subject that I know everyone is drawn to.

Let me lay out a few examples from a few of my tax professors:
Professor 1, had a life-size cut out of spider-man in his office and the e-mail used was a reference to two-face.
Professor 2, in a law school class, handed me a paper back with a frowny face on it.
Professor 3, pulled out their DVD collection of School House Rock to show us the Tax Man clip.

Not that any of these things are wrong, per se.  It just points out the fact that these people, and others that just can't be explained in a sentence, seem to have the social skills of a 3rd grader, or maybe a kindergarten teacher.  Does this mean that if one day I decide to go into teaching tax somewhere my social skills will regress?

Things to think about...In the meantime, in order to prepare for a possible future career in tax professor-ing, I'm gonna go practice my shadow puppets.

Wednesday, February 03, 2010

Question of the day: What is actually required for me to get a snow day?

When I was getting ready to actually go to bed last night (or early this morning, it all blends together at that hour anyways) it looked like I was going to get to sleep in.  The snow was falling at a pretty good rate, there were already a few inches on the ground when I arrived home from class earlier that evening, and after 3 years it seems improbable that I would not be able to experience at least 1.

I even had a plan for how to spend my snow day.  It involved laundry and apartment cleaning and actually writing my reflection paper for Tax Policy, all while singing along to new music I purchased on a recent iTunes spending spree.  (I was apparently in a old school Broadway mood at the time…how, in the randomness that is my music library, did I not have Phantom or Cats!?)  My plan for the day in no way involved me unburying my car from the snow or going into the office or going to Wills, and especially not attending my awful, life-draining Bankruptcy class!

But alas, waking up to my blaring alarm of NPR announcing the delays for the day, neither my office, nor my school was mentioned.  This was followed by me assuming this was a dream and promptly falling back asleep for another 20 minutes, which resulted in a frenzied un-snowing of my vehicle and a not so fabulous start to a not so great day of the week to begin with.

Honestly, as a displaced Southern Californian, it’s not so much that I want it to keep snowing, it’s more that I don’t want to have to venture outside into the slush and cold and I have other things to do that seem to lend themselves to being done while I am still in a PJ-esque state.  I enjoy the snow, it’s pretty and makes it possible to ski, but if I do not have a hill to slide down and am wearing heels, it is just not as appealing.

Further, tonight as I sit in Bankruptcy (honestly, blogging is more intellectually stimulating and a better use of these 3 hours that I will never get back), the internet weather god is predicting, like, a foot of snow for Friday and Saturday.  It is as if a higher power (like Storm from the X-men, or Jack Frost) is playing a cruel joke on me.  So if someone could tell me who exactly I pissed off, or what I did, and exactly how I can fix it so when it snows next time I do get a snow day and it is not on a weekend where it doesn’t help anyone, it would be greatly appreciated!

Sunday, January 31, 2010

It's always the simplest things that are beyond me!

I know it is unimaginable that I am incapable of something.  However, I am.  Waffle, Pancakes, really any bready breakfast food are not something I can master.  Baking and frosting a fab a cake i can do; Roasting a turkey, not a problem; adding water to a mix and put it in a skillet, not so much.  They always end up undercooked, or burned, or too something that makes them inedible.
I have come to accept that I may never accomplish proficiency in this area, but I will keep trying (possibly to the detriment of my waistline).  Regardless, if you put enough syrup on stuff, it tastes like breakfast!

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Quotes Taken Out of Context

Justice Breyer said, "Massachusetts seems to be having huge problems."

Happy Special Election Day, Massachusetts!